The Job Search

I have been looking for jobs. The perfect job. Well basically any job I am capable of doing in the hours I need… Which is a normal business hours day shift M-F. Its not easy there, but I am trying. I ended up turning down a great opportunity at a Animal Hospital. The hours were a bit longer than I would like for me since I am moving out and I have my son to consider. But I figured it all up, even in a cheap apartment after benefits come out, I would literally be left with $50 a month for groceries during months with higher utilities. Not to mention no money for occasional new shoes, jeans for Michael, basic necessities like deodorant. And lets be honest, deodorant should be listed as a bill when you have a almost thirteen year old son.

I have a few leads I am going to pursue here today. It sucks, I have IBS, anxiety, and then trying to provide for my son on my own, it doesn’t open a whole lot of doors. Benefits would sure be nice, if I can even afford to use them. Michael has insurance from his father, and it is a 5,000 dollar deductible. Seriously. So I can’t even afford to use his insurance to take him to the doctor.

I am almost done with things I need for the new house though. I think I am down to a microwave, desk chair, and then a new bed for Michael. Frame and mattress. Oh and the wood for my new weaving loom. Can’t forget that.

I love yarn. Seriously love it. And I have wanted a triangle loom forever. I plan on using it as a stress relief hobby, around my day job and my weekend summer photography services. But who knows maybe by winter I will have it down enough I can start selling shawls and lap blankets on Etsy or something to help bring in a few dollars in. But that is not my priority, I want to weave because I love it.

I will try to post more often, but life gets us busy. This week we finally had our family Christmas party. Michael’s paternal grandmother had a lung transplant almost a year ago. On Michael’s birthday at that! But she hasn’t been doing so well and is staying close to Rochester for her doctors and she needs 24/7 supervision. They went down and got her for the weekend and it was really nice having everyone together again. And then with my crazy work, sleep, and job hunting schedules I have basically forgotten to sit down and write…


A Little Side Note

As I was typing the title, I was about to type A Little Side Salad. I must be hungry. I rarely crave salad. I have become so picky in regards to my ranch dressing and it is the only dressing I can seem to stomach on my salads and I want lots and lots of dressing. Healthy no. Delicious, yes. But that is off topics. As this this entire blog, but hey it is my site, and I can write about anything and everything right?

I changed up the header image. While I loved the moody foggy path that was the image across the top of the blog, I felt like it does not really represent ME. What you may not know dear reader is that I am also a photographer. And I felt like I needed to add my own image on a blog that represents me as an individual. This isn’t a business or niche blog that can be slapped together with generic royalty free images. It is the story of me, so what better to be represented is my own work.

I admit I did toss this together rather quickly. I used the image I had made for my Instagram and it is not a full size/res image. But even with some of the sharpness softened out on the desktop version of my blog, I still like it. I love sea glass. The soft cloudy colors. And how it has been worn down by the crashing waves and abrasive sand. Unlike us, who might get jaded by Life’s assaults, it is softened with the abuse that might come its way, molded into something beautiful.

I am also deeply into black and white photography, so again for my Instagram, I had to do one without color.


The odds are stacked. Are they for you, or are they against you? I like to think we decide and make our own future, but the truth is the future changes with each wave and breeze. Our plans may come toppling down and need rebuilt.

The Monster I Call “Closet”

Little side note, when we first moved in to this house I had the worst issues sleeping. Something about my closet bothered me and really made me feel not just creeped out. I felt literally like I was being stalked, like there was something deeply troubled pacing back and forth in my closet. It is a walk in, probably about the same size as the handicap stall in the bathrooms at WalMart. It was even worse two days later when I could not get the light to turn off. I had finally kicked my insomnia issues and had slept like a baby during the move, and you think the stress being lifted and being moved out of the city in a place where we were actually safe would be enough I should sleep. Only my closet at this time freaked me out. I ended up hanging a dream catcher in there and rarely do I ever feel like there is something in there now. I guess my closet demon suffered from insomnia or nightmares or something and it was enough to calm its evil butt down.

I am horrible about keeping my closets clean. I am notorious for just cramming stuff into them. I will have bags of clothing, empty boxes, weird miscellaneous stuff. Looking up into the open door across the room now I realize I have a mixing bowl on the shelf. No clue what project I was using it for. Thankfully I don’t do food related projects or one would need to be really concerned for me leaving food encrusted bowls in my closet…

I’m getting my wild crazy and paranoid ducks in somewhat of a row, and hopefully here in 2, 3 months tops, I will be moved out into my own place. YAY! I have the deposit money with my taxes budgeted, but I need to find a full time daytime job. I work nights and not a lot of hours at the moment. Hours were just cut for me as well. But once I have that and I know I can make future rent payments I will be ready to go. Except I hate packing. And I know I have so much junk in my closet and in the garage. Thankfully I don’t have to worry about it all, my mother is staying here, so its not like it has to get loaded up and the house emptied. But I realized just how many items of clothing I have of both mine and my son’s that we can’t wear. Things that are too small or just falling apart.

I can’t seem to just get rid of clothes. I have those wishful thinking pieces that almost fit but not quite but might fit someday. Pieces that I just have no clue what to do with to accessorize them so I don’t look like an older woman. Cute pieces but on me they just didn’t work. And a gagillion pieces of my son’s that he will never fit into again.

I’ve decided that once I am moved and since I will be in town, I am going to start listing clothes on the local garage sale site. Gather up the kids clothes and sell them in lots. And my clothes. Living in town makes it easier to actually met and sell off this junk. I need to pick through items that have seen better days and decide if I can upcycle it into something or if it just needs trashed. I might make a rag quilt out of things that either don’t sell or just should be trashed… That might be a fun project. I keep saying I want to make a quilt and I’m not the best seamstress, so a rag quilt seems like an easy way to start.

I’m giving myself until July 4th to have either trashed, cut up into quilt pieces, or sold off all this excess. I know some of it might be hard to let go of. I don’t have a lot of clothing that I actually can wear, so its hard getting rid of things for me. Its hard finding nice fashionable affordable plus size clothing so I tend to really cling tightly to stuff that I find and like. Although once I start digging around in things I haven’t even unpacked in the last year I might be surprised. And we are starting kayaking this summer, so who knows maybe a month of serious water activity I might be slimmed down enough for a wishful piece or two so a longer time frame, I won’t rush through it and then regret losing something that might fit.

Is it a normal thing to have messy closets full of junk and old clothes you hoard even though your kid has outgrown it? Seriously, sometimes I think of my closet like those on tv that kids shove everything into and when you open it, there goes an avalanche of stuff…

I think this is an important area of my life I need to work on. My closet skills. Because obviously I have none.