Dream’s End

Where will I be
When this dream ends?
Will it have come true
Or faded away with time?
Can I hold tight to the vision
When the world turns the other way?
I can only hope when
I reach Dream’s End
All my aspirations will satisfy
No matter the outcome of each fancy,
May the healing waters give me peace,
May all the desires and designs be reborn,
Be it a nightmare or a passion
All dreams must soon come to an end,
Who will I be
When I find myself at Dream’s End?


The Great Cycle Challenge


Rarely do I get a chance to participate in great causes. I have looked at the walks and such done for various causes but either due to my own health limitations or work obligations I have never been able to join. What I loved about this was not only is it for a great cause, because it is, I love that it is on my own schedule. I can participate out on the trails or sitting at home on my stationary bike. It is a way to get my son involved in something good. I feel we need to find ways to give back even if we don’t have money in our pockets we can still take an action to make things better for our fellow man, woman, and in this case child. Actions speak louder than words, so I am hoping in the month of June I will have over a hundred miles of action done to encourage people to contribute and help fight against childhood cancer.

If you are interested in donating towards this cause, please consider donating under my name. You can donate as little or as much as you would like. Every donation be it only five dollars is appreciated because it adds up quickly across the nation. Please click the link to see my page. Any miles I put in between now and June do not count towards the challenge so I am not sure if I will update mileage until it starts, but know I am very serious about this cause.

The Monster I Call “Closet”

Little side note, when we first moved in to this house I had the worst issues sleeping. Something about my closet bothered me and really made me feel not just creeped out. I felt literally like I was being stalked, like there was something deeply troubled pacing back and forth in my closet. It is a walk in, probably about the same size as the handicap stall in the bathrooms at WalMart. It was even worse two days later when I could not get the light to turn off. I had finally kicked my insomnia issues and had slept like a baby during the move, and you think the stress being lifted and being moved out of the city in a place where we were actually safe would be enough I should sleep. Only my closet at this time freaked me out. I ended up hanging a dream catcher in there and rarely do I ever feel like there is something in there now. I guess my closet demon suffered from insomnia or nightmares or something and it was enough to calm its evil butt down.

I am horrible about keeping my closets clean. I am notorious for just cramming stuff into them. I will have bags of clothing, empty boxes, weird miscellaneous stuff. Looking up into the open door across the room now I realize I have a mixing bowl on the shelf. No clue what project I was using it for. Thankfully I don’t do food related projects or one would need to be really concerned for me leaving food encrusted bowls in my closet…

I’m getting my wild crazy and paranoid ducks in somewhat of a row, and hopefully here in 2, 3 months tops, I will be moved out into my own place. YAY! I have the deposit money with my taxes budgeted, but I need to find a full time daytime job. I work nights and not a lot of hours at the moment. Hours were just cut for me as well. But once I have that and I know I can make future rent payments I will be ready to go. Except I hate packing. And I know I have so much junk in my closet and in the garage. Thankfully I don’t have to worry about it all, my mother is staying here, so its not like it has to get loaded up and the house emptied. But I realized just how many items of clothing I have of both mine and my son’s that we can’t wear. Things that are too small or just falling apart.

I can’t seem to just get rid of clothes. I have those wishful thinking pieces that almost fit but not quite but might fit someday. Pieces that I just have no clue what to do with to accessorize them so I don’t look like an older woman. Cute pieces but on me they just didn’t work. And a gagillion pieces of my son’s that he will never fit into again.

I’ve decided that once I am moved and since I will be in town, I am going to start listing clothes on the local garage sale site. Gather up the kids clothes and sell them in lots. And my clothes. Living in town makes it easier to actually met and sell off this junk. I need to pick through items that have seen better days and decide if I can upcycle it into something or if it just needs trashed. I might make a rag quilt out of things that either don’t sell or just should be trashed… That might be a fun project. I keep saying I want to make a quilt and I’m not the best seamstress, so a rag quilt seems like an easy way to start.

I’m giving myself until July 4th to have either trashed, cut up into quilt pieces, or sold off all this excess. I know some of it might be hard to let go of. I don’t have a lot of clothing that I actually can wear, so its hard getting rid of things for me. Its hard finding nice fashionable affordable plus size clothing so I tend to really cling tightly to stuff that I find and like. Although once I start digging around in things I haven’t even unpacked in the last year I might be surprised. And we are starting kayaking this summer, so who knows maybe a month of serious water activity I might be slimmed down enough for a wishful piece or two so a longer time frame, I won’t rush through it and then regret losing something that might fit.

Is it a normal thing to have messy closets full of junk and old clothes you hoard even though your kid has outgrown it? Seriously, sometimes I think of my closet like those on tv that kids shove everything into and when you open it, there goes an avalanche of stuff…

I think this is an important area of my life I need to work on. My closet skills. Because obviously I have none.